My ... friend really needs help with this: flirting.
Our instructor for the night was Judith Swack, a scientist who regularly teaches classes about relationships and self-awareness. She started by giving us handouts about the unconscious mind and our bodies. She assured us that flirting is good. Flirting is about letting someone know you're interested. It's human nature. Seducing, on the other hand, is bad. Seducing, she said, is about making promises you can't keep.
Like the person in the comments, I thought seduction was luring someone into a sexual encounter; making promises you can't keep is deceitful. And what about when the person flirting with you is *gasp* married?
Swack told us one of the secrets to flirting is that part of the body must be at an angle. More specifically, the body is partly tilted to the side. Hips stick out. Heads tilt toward the shoulders. Sometimes people who are flirting touch their hair a lot.
Hey, wait a minute! I'm always touching my hair, even when I'm only with my mom! She mentioned it to me once as being a bad thing to do around her. Maybe she knew something I didn't - until now, that is. (I think playing with my hair means I'm on edge or uncomfortable, but what do I know about myself?)
Either way, Mom did not instruct me properly on how to flirt. I was having lunch with a man once and I started drumming my fingers on the tabletop. I think he took that to mean I was anxious to leave. I'm not sure what I meant to convey, but that wasn't it. I was really disappointed when he said he had to go ...
I think flirting is a fairly innocent form of communication, when it is conducted in a properly controlled environment.
But now I know the signs of flirting and can respond appropriately.
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