Why I love "House Hunters"

http://www.hgtv.com/house-hunters/show/index.html"House Hunters" is a reality TV show on HGTV. (I used to feel oh so superior to people who watched reality TV ... come on, you can't say you haven't felt that yourself.)

I love "House Hunters," "Property Virgins" and all those other shows about people looking for a house to buy not because I like the houses, but because I love watching the people.

I have always been a people watcher. I see the subtle changes in an expression, in a movement - and then I analyze it. To death. But that's not my point.

Recently, I saw an episode of "House Hunters International," which, as you would expect is people buying houses overseas. It's funny because some of the people are already living "overseas" (England, Australia) and I could make several observations about how non-U.S. families react to their son/daughter moving to another country as opposed to the pearl clutching that goes on in an American family ...

Anyway! There was a couple and the husband whose company sent him to work in Shanghai for a bit so he was bringing his family along: his wife and two children.

One place they saw was a palatial residence with a beautiful big yard outside the city. I should mention here that the guy had a housing allowance from his company.

As soon as they hit that house, the wife and kids lit up like a fireflies. Wife got all dreamy, kids were choosing bedrooms and husband said, "There are too many chandeliers in here. Who needs this many chandeliers?"

Uh-oh.

He then said it was too big. It was too far outside the city (he had a driver to drive him to work).

Wifey, with tears in her voice, asked him how many more times in their lives they would get to live in a beautiful mansion, rent-free.

No way was that man budging from his inexplicable unwillingness to make his wife really happy at no apparent expense or trouble to him.

When she realized he was not going to budge, her mouth went into a straight line and stayed there while she said, "I love you" and kissed him - and it was still in a line two months later after the show went back to check on them in the house the husband had chosen. I don't think he was getting much Shanghai Surprise, if you get my drift.

There have been, of course, reverse situations - ones in which the husband has made extraordinary sacrifices and gone to great expense because he realized he was uprooting his family and wanted them to be as happy/comfortable as possible.

Avatar!

A friend took me to see "Avatar" yesterday afternoon. I had not been to a movie in I don't know how long ... adult admission was $9.50, it was $9.50!

The movie was kind of a mix of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and all the stories that are based on Tolkien.

Even now, I'm not sure what I think about it. The visual effects were certainly very pleasing, except that the 3-D made me feel dizzy for about half the movie (as it did my friend). I wasn't very thrilled that the adults sitting behind us brought 3 little kids with them - it's a long movie - but I forgave the little girl when towards the end, she sighed and said, "I love Jake (the hero guy)." It was just too cute.

"Let's talk about Star Wars"

When my younger niece, who is now 16 years old, was just a little thing (maybe 3 years old), she sat down next to me and asked to talk about "Star Wars." Her concern was something about the Jawas, but I don't remember what it was anymore.

Ha, there's a wiki about Jawas.

I don't really have a point here, except that I can still watch episodes IV, V and VI of "Star Wars" and be stirred. Not so much for the first/last 3 - I don't believe I have even seen Episode III. My favorite has always been "Return of the Jedi" because I really like the highly-inefficient imperial walkers.

But hey, I said this before, somewhere - why were R2 and C-3PO still around? Was this a more efficient time? Nowadays, they would have been in a landfill somewhere long before Luke Skywalker was a twinkle in his father's eye. The first 3 episodes, coming after the "sequels," ruined a lot of things.

And I really, really like the ring wraiths in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. More movies that can stir me years later.

I can't go to the movies anymore. Thank goodness for DVDs.

Try not. Do ... or do not. There is no try. (Miss you I do.)

Memories

I like it when someone confirms my highly suspect memories of events, and I also like it when I discover that the memory is also precious to others.

A long time ago now, my sister, future brother-in-law and I were on a harbor music cruise in Boston. Stop me if I've told you this before - I'm sure I have -

Anyway, it was foggy and the local band Treat Her Right was playing on the top deck. (Think Morphine frontman Mark Sandman, before there was a Morphine, and of course before he died.)

I don't remember if anyone was clear that we were at the end of a runway at Logan Airport because it wasn't clear, you know?

All of a sudden there was this roar and a huge jet emerged from the fog, right over our heads; we could see it almost touch down on the tarmac - and then it disappeared back into the fog.

Last weekend a Treat Her Right song was playing at a family gathering and my brother-in-law said to me, "This song always reminds me of when were on that boat ..." or something like that ... and although none of us could remember if that was the exact song they were playing when the incident occurred, that's the song that reminds me of that night.

It's called "Marie."

I hate Lucy

I've tried periodically, over the years, to love Lucy. I really have.

Every so often I watch an episode, thinking that as I get older I might get what's so funny.

But in actuality, it just gets more irritating.

I know Lucy is an icon, but really - if your wife was like that, how long would you stay married?

Oh! - but I did like the episode with William Holden where turns the tables and stares at her after he catches her staring.

(Actually, in my limited experience with celebrities, they tend to not make eye contact with the general public. It gives them a certain zombie-like air.)

But then, I always did love William Holden.

Stop making sense

So I'm watching last night's "Daily Show" tonight.

Honest to God, I'm thinking of boycotting NBC, the big baby network.

Hey, there's that chick from "Flight of the Conchords" ...

Jon Stewart has been mocking that idiotic Jim Cramer from CNBC (you know, the guy who screeched that Bear Stearns was safe just days before it was bought out for peanuts).

I guess that on Monday, Cramer appeared on the "Today" show (or whatever it's called now) and Joe Scarborough's morning show on MSNBC and, according to Stewart MSNBCBGB, NBC's late night club ...

This ain't no mudd club, or CBGB ... I ain't got time for that now!

Sorry.

Much like me, NBC just couldn't let it go, and ...

This is/was just infantile - I'm just a lowly blogger and NBC is a big network with some credibility.

And not only that - it gives Stewart the powerful position of greater capacity for mocking.

Speaking of mocking, I guess I have to stop mocking the Daily News now.

One of "them" did something nice for me today.

But then again, Stephen Tait was always doing nice stuff and it never stopped me ... oh whatever, it was an act of great integrity and I appreciated it.

Unless it was a trick - in which case, I'll get him later.

Thanks, Victor.

Just leave it to me

Someone posted this bit of opinion on Facebook, so I thought I would share. It's a post from TheBigMoney.com, by Dan Mitchell.

Jon Stewart's hilarious and devastating attack on CNBC Wednesday night has brought yet another round of protestations along the lines of: "Why don't the mainstream media do this kind of thing? Why is it left to comedians?"

Yeah, why don't the media be satirical?

And while journalists could surely stand to (judiciously) add more humor to their presentation of the news, that's far from their first job. And as much as ideologues of various stripes would like to believe otherwise, it also isn't their first job to skewer anything, though there should be more of that, too (judiciously applied.) Their first job is to present the facts—fairly. And there have been plenty of media examinations of CNBC, its shallow cheerleading, and its boneheaded presentation.

But none quite as funny as Stewart's ... this spot from last night was hysterical. Also check out this spot ...

Anyway, back to satire and the media - you may have noticed that on page 2 of the Current are some rather satirical reports of local news. Or snide comments. Whatever, it suits my temperament, although I have to admit I didn't care for it at first.

Leave the snide comments and satire to me, I thought.

But then I started to get fan mail from people who thought it was me making the snippy comments.

Oh yeah, that was me ... definitely me. It was my idea.

I'm loving this

Today USA Network has been showing a whole string of Law & Order: Special Victim Units featuring my favorite actor dude, Dean Winters.

Apparently he was on it the whole first season.

If you guys have never seen the HBO series Oz, I would highly recommend it - although it's brutal.

Winters obviously looms large in the cast of Oz, as does Christopher Meloni, Kathryn Erbe (who's from Newton, I just found out) and a whole lot of other people you didn't know then but know now.

Enjoy.

I fight the urge to pick it up so I can do my thing ...

I have said on here before how hard it is for me to NOT answer my phone.

I'll run in from outside, leap from the shower and other activities to dive for the receiver before the person rings off or leaves a message. It's a compulsion - and, as usual, I thought it was one very few people shared with me.

So it was pretty funny when I watched last week's episode of HBO's "Big Love." One of the characters is in the process of murdering another in an outhouse (?) when her phone rings.

I could really relate to the indecision - continue killing or answer the phone? Which one?

Grace Zibriskie does such a good job conveying her dilemma, as she looks a few times from the direction the ringing is coming from to the plastic bag she has wrapped around her (evil) husband's head. Bruce Dern plays the husband, in the usual Dern malevolent style.

Ultimately, she decides to answer the phone ... hey, it's what I would have done!

Oh, I forgot:

#5 on the list of "Random Facts About Me:"

I can't stand to let the phone go un-answered!

* Phone song lyrics by H2O.

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

This is not my list, but I'm too lazy to compile my own. It's from Entertainment Weekly, circa 2005. But Python is timeless, eh?

20 Argument Clinic (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 9, Episode 29)A troupe hallmark and a paraphrasing of what Python fans are thinking now. ''That's not one of the top 20.'' ''Yes, it is.'' ''No, it isn't.'' ''Is.'' ''Isn't!''

19 Kilimanjaro Expedition (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)Who did an explorer who sees double hire to find a crew he sent to build a bridge between Kilimanjaro's two peaks? ''The Arthur Brown twins, two botanists called Machin...and a couple of the Ken Spinoza quads. The other two pulled out.''

18 The Restaurant Sketch (MPFC DVD 1, Ep. 3)A polite complaint about a dirty fork riles a cleaver-swinging cook and suicidal manager. Highlight: John Cleese's gasping moan, ''Oh, it makes me mad.''

17 Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion Visit Sartre (MPFC DVD 9, Ep. 27)Who better to debate Jean-Paul Sartre's philosophy and burial methods for live cats than two shrieking housewives? The best of the sketches with the Pythons' drag alter egos, the Pepperpots.

16 The Visitors (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)The rudest drop-ins ever, including Arthur Name (''What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung''), Mr. Equator (''[The seat's a] bit lumpy...ah, no wonder, I was sitting on the cat''), and his incontinent, beans-gobbling wife.

15 Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python's The Meaning of Life)Terry Jones' directorial high, this rousing musical number about the perils of masturbation from the 1983 film is Python irreverence at its most elaborate.

14 Interesting People (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 4, Episode 11)A goofy TV panel features a hypnotist who puts bricks to sleep and a man whose cat flies across the room into a pail of water. (''By herself?'' ''No, I fling her.'') ----> This is what I was looking for when I found this list.

13 Spam (MPFC DVD 8, Ep. 25)Thanks to this operatic, Viking-sung ditty, the jellied canned luncheon meat will always be synonymous with classic comedy.

12 Self-Defence (MPFC DVD 2, Ep. 4)What's a fruit-obsessed instructor's advice for dealing with an assailant attacking with a banana? (1) Shoot him. (2) Eat the banana, thus disarming him.

11 Crunchy Frog (MPFC DVD 2, Ep. 6) Crunchy Frog, Cockroach Cluster, Ram's Bladder Cup with lark's vomit: This candy selection yields oddly tasty humor.

10 Stoning (Monty Python's Life of Brian) You may be humming ''(Always Look on the) Bright Side of Life'' after the 1979 film, but the beard-wearing, rock-hurling women make the movie sing.

9 Eric the Half a Bee (Monty Python's Previous Record) A rousing ode to a bifurcated bug from 1972: ''I love this hive employee/Bisected accidentally/One summer afternoon by me/I love him carnally.''

8 Nudge Nudge (Monty Python's Flying Circus, DVD 1, Episode 3) ''Nudge nudge, know what I mean? Say no more!'' Eric Idle's winking insinuator is the ultimate perv, even if the sketch ends, ''You've slept with a lady.... What's it like?''

7 The Lumberjack Song (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 9)A barber longs to be a macho woodsman, because ''I cut down trees, I skip and jump/I like to press wildflowers/I put on women's clothing/And hang around in bars.'' During some live shows, fans Tom Hanks and George Harrison both slipped into lumber gear to sing backup.

6 Fish-Slapping Dance (MPFC DVD 9, Ep. 28)John Cleese and Michael Palin prance about, slapping each other with fish, naturally. Fifteen seconds of sublime silliness.

5 The Funniest Joke in the World (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 1, Episode 1)A British joke so funny its audiences die laughing becomes a critical weapon against the Nazis during WWII. Not so the Germans' failed retaliation: ''Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas...assaulted! Peanut.''

4 Dead Parrot (MPFC DVD 3, Ep. 8)''If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies.... This is an ex-parrot.'' The legacy of John Cleese's complaint to Michael Palin for selling a stuffed pet is marred only a bit by a listless reprise on a 1997 Saturday Night Live.

3 Guy de Loimbard's Castle (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)''Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries'' from the 1975 film remains the gold standard of verbal abuse. ----> Allo? O is eet?

2 The Ministry of Silly Walks (MPFC DVD 5, Ep. 14)Cleese's giant steps are equally hilarious on the TV show and in the '82 concert film Live at the Hollywood Bowl.

1 The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python's Flying Circus DVD 5, Episode 15)Red-caped crusading cardinals threaten torture with (gasp!) the comfy chair! Unforgettable for one reason: torture by kitchen drying rack, and Michael Palin's inability to count...two! Two reasons!

I think one of my all-time favorite Python lines, other than, "No, I fling her" is "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?" from The Holy Grail.

Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

Hey, he's now 'The Decider!'

When was the last time you heard a President of these United States say, "I think I screwed up?"

Never, I would guess.

It's actually kind of alarming to me because it's not the usual crapola ... and the words used, too! I mean, I can relate ... but what will he say next? "I'm pissed off?"

I can't understand what's wrong with saying "pissed off," but I once said it in my boss' office and he told me not to use language like that in his office. And recently someone apologized for saying it to me, about someone else.

On TV the other day, I also heard that people entering into the President's immediate vicinity don't necessarily have to be wearing a suit, which is also not the way it was BBO (before Barack Obama).

Ah, here's a report (on a blog), from the LA Times, on this very subject. It's from today's edition. Geesh, I heard this over the weekend ... anyway:

Barack Obama is shaking things up by challenging the supremacy of the business suit in the one town in America where a suit still equals power. According to several reports, casual Friday style is becoming everyday style in the Obama White House, with the president encouraging staffers to take off their jackets, even in the Oval Office. (Lord knows they have enough work to do; they need to get comfortable and roll up their sleeves, even though that won't do much to help suit sales.)

I'm all for casual ... but didn't I hear once that Lyndon Johnson used to conduct meetings while he was sitting on the commode?

The blogger, Booth Moore,* asks at the end of the post if this is appropriate for the White House (the non-suits, not the sitting on the crapper - although if we're talking appropriate and/or disrespectful to the office ...). Of course, one is told to ask a question at the end of a blog post because people will feel compelled to answer the question.

So far, that has not worked on here.

And what exactly is "appropriate for the White House?" Are there rules? If so, I want to know what they are! Was taping conversations about illegal wiretapping "appropriate?" Or do the rules only apply to fashion? Are fuzzy slippers allowed?

Hey, [insert name of Obama family member here], take off those inappropriate Ojamas this instant!

*Booth Moore is editor of the Image section and the Times' chief fashion critic. She covers the runway shows in New York, Milan, Paris and Los Angeles.

Oh well, that explains it. She's an expert.

I hate fashion ... and I'm not talking the Bowie song (that I like).

In a town called Malice ... I mean, Meryton ...

My sister Sarah (who has no love for Jane Austen) sent this link to me and my other sister (who do love Austen).

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The Classic Regency Romance—Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!
Quirk Books

Love the book's cover ... Elizabeth Bennett with red eyes, zombie mouth and blood spatter on her gown ...

Now I expect to get 1,001 Austen fans flocking on here, like they did the last time I wrote about Jane Austen.

I love her, I do!

Ten things I've done that you probably haven't

I'm caught up in all these ... er, memes? ... going around. So taking a clue from a Facebook friend (actually, he's both a blog and a Facebook friend), I'm 'fessing up to these 10 things (read about what may be the start of all this on author John Scalzi's blog, called Whatever):

1. I spent one night and two days on a replica of a tall ship (I've posted about that before).

2. I once drove from Michigan to Baltimore, MD, to see The Cars in concert (disclaimer: my sister Sarah has done this, since we did it together).

3. I was at game 5 of the World Series in 1984 when the Detroit Tigers finished off their incredible season with VICTORY (again, Sarah was there, too).

4. This isn't something I did (looking at the cat), but I once found a dead mouse down at the foot of my bed, between the top sheet and the blanket. I have no idea how many nights I slept with a dead mouse ...

5. I've lived in 3 different countries, counting the one I was born in but was taken out of when I was 3 months old.

6. I once went to rock concerts on three consecutive nights (again, Sarah ... what can I say? We used to live together!). I think this is another Cars-related entry.

7. I rang the church bell at The First Parish Church, Newbury (MA). It was way cool.

8. I have twice been in the building from which the bridge tenders raise the Gillis Bridge over the Merrimack River between Newburyport and Salisbury. It's tall and right over the middle of the river - and the view is terrific.

9. I was on an airplane one time and I was trying to open one of those packets of salad dressing they give you - and the salad dressing sprayed all over the woman sitting next to me.

10. I nearly emasculated Sen. John Kerry one day outside the State House in Boston. I was walking home, swinging my furled umbrella, and he was behind me. He grabbed it just before the point hit his crotch. At least I think it was Kerry ...

I used to believe I kissed the Pope's ring when my mother and I still lived in Barbados, but my mother recently told me it was just some bishop.

Now that I think about it, these things are probably supposed to be more impressive ... like, hey, I met Mother Teresa while feeding starving children in India ... great, now I'm depressed.

No more lists! Unless you guys want to do it, of course ....

Was she really a brat?

I was re-reading To Kill A Mockingbird over the weekend.

I had failed to do so during last year's The Big Read; in fact, having read it, I wonder if I had previously read it at all. This is how movies based on books skew your brain.

On The Big Read website, it says Scout is "bratty." I think the character is profoundly interesting - but then, I always did like bratty kids better than goody-two-shoes ones (being one of the latter myself).

My copy, obtained used at Jabberwocky, is obviously a cast off from last year's program. I would rather have the book in hardcover, but I can't see myself ever casting this paperback off to the shelves of the used book room.

Reading the story sort of reminded me of Newburyport, or any other small town with a history you could name.

And in that, I saw the value of a relatively insular community, where everyone knows your name, indignities are avoided, and hostilities simmer down after a while.

Well, if the hostilities are felt by a decent, reasonable person, that is.

Oh, well ... social strata aside, I was amazed at how parent-child relationships have changed and how children used to be able to roam about the neighborhood without fear ... oh, wait. But that was an isolated incident.

Nowadays one would be startled if a child called his/her father "sir." And I rarely see children roaming around unchaperoned, even though *wow* if I were a kid, I'd sure want to be out on the marsh, down on the Refuge, out on the water ... without parental oversight.

How can you hear the call of a loon (the bird) if you've got an iPod hooked to your person?

I can remember lying in a field of tall grass, just staring up at the sky, for long periods of time. I never went swimming by myself when I was little, but we went sledding, explored the woods (not too far, though - I was, and still am, scared of woods), climbed trees, and basically spent most of the day outside.

A great work of social commentary (although last summer, my neighbor wanted to kill one of our neighborhood mockingbirds because it was carrying on all night).

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch

Reading frenzy

I appreciate all the suggestions I got for mystery writers to check out. I'm also grateful that we have not one but two sources of used books in our fair city.

Three, if you count Melanie, the leader of our writing group, who has started a book exchange within the group. So far, I'm not sure any of her books have gone beyond me, but c'est la vie!

My mother gave me this tome (734 pages, counting the acknowledgments) as a Christmas gift. I read the entire book over the weekend. It was that engrossing.

The name of this novel is The Hour I First Believed, and it was written by Wally Lamb.

I'm not usually a big fan of "slice of life" type books - this was more of a chunk, though - or books in which a whole lot of bad and/or miserable things happen to the main character. And man, this book has a lot of bad and/or miserable things, including horrors of the Civil War, Columbine High School and Hurricane Katrina.

But the characters were so wonderfully written that I still was thinking about them at 2:15 a.m. today, 15 minutes after I closed the book on the 734th page and should have been snoozing away.

Back and forth the story went, unwinding this man's present, his past and his future. (This explains the Civil War bit.)

Wow. Now I have to run to one or both of our book stores that sell used books to see if I can find his other novels, She's Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True. I'm already intrigued, since one of my favorite Guess Who songs is "She's Come Undone," and "I know this much is true" are lyrics from a Spandau Ballet song in the 80s.

This title, I have come to understand, is a line from "Amazing Grace."

Give me a good (fictional) murder

I'm a big fan of mysteries (as reading material). It's always a challenge to find a good mystery writer because there are so many writers who take the easy street.

To wit (whit?), there is the old "I know something relevant, but for some perverse reason, I'm not going to tell anyone" gambit.

If the person (in the book) actually spilled the information they are withholding, the mystery would only last for 100 pages instead of 274, or whatever.

I hate that one.

Then there's the old, "I knew I was missing something (or had just heard something really relevant), but I just couldn't think what." The character then moves on to sleep, or do laundry and the little something niggling the back of their brain magically disappears until the end of the book.

I know that when I can't think of something, I never let it keep me from sleeping or anything.

I don't buy that one.

Over the weekend, I was reading a mystery by Mary Higgins Clark, a very famous writer.

She employed both these devices, and more. Gee, I know they are relevant, but I just can't think of them right now. Oh, well. I'll think about it tomorrow.

I was very annoyed, especially since these lapses are frequently displayed by a female protagonist.

Personally, I like Ruth Rendell, or her alter ego, Barbara Vine, although even she seems to be on a downswing. My favorite of late is The Chimney Sweep's Boy.

I have been working on a mystery/suspense book for about 12 years now. It's not easy to avoid using these plot devices (or the one used by Patricia Cornwell, where she does not introduce the person who is the killer until nearly the end of the book).

What I can't do is write all that filler - what the sky looks like, what everyone is wearing (heavy cream silk blouses are popular) and other stuff like that. My eyes just gloss over the fluff, anxious to get back to the action.

Except in the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. Her fluff is usually pretty funny.

If you're still shopping for someone who's a mystery buff, stick with Rendell (Vine), Evanovich, or Sue Grafton. Old P.D. James is also stellar.

If you have some favorites, let me know. I need my good mysteries as much as I need my lattes.

Goodnight and have a socially relevant day tomorrow.

Sorry.

"I like the Tinman"

OK, so I've got these three friends that I used to work with at New England Medical Center, in the 1980s: we are each a "Miss," although the others are - or were - married.

Miss Donna, Miss Jean, Miss Katie and me, Miss Gill.

We meet once a year, usually right before Christmas. Our last meeting was Dec. 8. I won't go into the details of my torturous trip to Bedford, where Miss Katie and her family live. Suffice it to say that proximity to Lowell seems to have inhibited my ability to find places that I've been before.

Anyway ... this year, initially Miss Donna suggested we go shopping in Newburyport, which we've done in the past (before I lived here). She was going into raptures over the neat little stores we frequented in the past when I burst her little shopping bubble by telling her they were mostly all gone now.

Instead, Miss Jean and I met at Miss Katie's and carpooled it over to Miss Donna's in Walpole.

I was only an hour late, by the way. It wasn't my fault!

And then, of course, once on our way to Walpole we spotted a liquor store advertising a wine and cheese tasting ... Miss Katie screeched into the parking lot and we entered.

(Remind me to tell you about the 5 martini after-work get together at Zoots, if I haven't already.)

The point of all this is that Miss Katie and I were one day long ago in her boss' office. Her boss confessed to never having seen "A Christmas Story." After we recovered from our shock, we gave her a quick rundown of the plot.

We then informed her that she really should watch the movie.

She replied that she thought no matter how funny the movie was, our little presentation had to be way funnier.

Ah, those were the days ... actually, they weren't ... those were the moments.

These ladies are some of the only people I've ever known for this long (20 years, at least) who have not changed. Or perhaps we're only the same when we're together.

Miss Donna suggested I write a book about our adventures, and Miss Katie suggested "I like the Tinman" as the title of one of the chapters.

Not a finga!

I would love to have A Christmas Story that is as entertaining as the movie of the same name. (Have you seen it? It's terrific.)

Sure, my parents once fooled me by putting my "most wanted" gift behind the curtains and then, after we opened presents and I was a tad disappointed, asked me to open the curtains.

It was a Beatles album.

I guess it must be a thing that parents do.

But my dad never swore at the furnace, nor did he receive a plastic leg lamp, complete with fishnet hose, as a "major award."

He did, however, 'appropriate' a sign from a Santa's village that read "Santa's Out to Lunch" because he thought it was so funny. It was forever after displayed as part of the Christmas regalia.

"Forever" means until it did not appear anymore. To be honest, I have not laid eyes on it for years. But I still recall it fondly, even though it was an ill gotten gain.

As far as I remember, we never had an Oldsmobile. And we always had - and still do have - roast beast with Yorkshire pudding and roasted potatoes for Christmas dinner. But we did have a lot of meatloaf throughout the year.

Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.

I get misty

Oh, how I love the Flint Expatriates blog.

It's an amazing cultural phenomenon. How so many can be so inspired to talk of fries with gravy at an old, beloved coney island restaurant ... I know there's a story in there somewhere ... I think I'm losing my edge.

OH NO! Get me a coney with onions and a side of said fries ASAP. What is wrong with you people out here? You need a good dose of Vernor's ginger ale or Faygo Redpop.

Just kidding.

The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!

I now watch NCIS, just because the writers included the above quote from a classic movie in the script of one episode. By the way, the chalice from the palace was later broken ... can anyone tell me what replaced it?

Mad Men (and women)

I've been turned on to AMC's dramatic series "Mad Men." Thanks, Jennifer!

So I was catching up with the series via On Demand and recaps on Television Without Pity (great for this kind of situation).

Season 2, episode 8 - called "Women on the Verge of Kicking Some Ass" on TWOP or "A Night To Remember" according to AMC - we've got a female office manager (Joan) filling in in an unfunded executive position at an ad agency.

As was clearly built up to in season 1 and season 2 prior to this episode, she performs in an outstanding manner. The ad agency gets all kinds of accolades. The inevitable happens ... the position gets funded ... I'll let TWOP's recapper, "Couch Baron," explain since he does it much better than could I:

Harry introduces Joan to "Dan," and says he's going to be in charge of Broadcast Operations. Joan's face freezes: "Excuse me?" Oblivious to the perfect storm that's manifesting right before him, Harry tells her that he really appreciates her having filled in, and asks if she can train Dan right then and there.

This series takes place in 1962, or thereabouts. What was so hilarious (not) to me is that this - or something of the same ilk - happened to me ... only in, like, 2002.

Yes, as hard as it is to believe, I one day came into the office I had been running efficiently to find a new guy there, who was introduced to me as the "Chief Administrative Officer." And since I did payroll, I knew he was being paid twice as much as was I.

Heh. I had to prop him up ... How far we've come, huh? And by "we," I mean both sexes.

It's a great series, though ... engrossing and disturbing. I didn't realize so many people smoked in the early 60s, but then I remembered both my parents smoked (although I don't remember that much alcohol consumption).

It's also cool to see dresses like the ones my mother used to wear.

Check it out, if you haven't already.