More on being single

I've been reflecting on being single in Newburyport, especially in light of the experiences of our now long-lost friend, Mahatma.

I know a lot of single women here, many more than I knew while I lived in Boston. They all drink and to varying degrees reveal flesh. (For the record, I wear turtle neck tops as much as possible and shower wearing a cotton shift, just in case someone is watching.)

I also know, or at least know of, numerous single men here, also many more than I encountered in Boston.

You would think all these people would join together and form enduring bonds of love. Instead, it seems they form short-term bonds of lust. And then complain about it a lot.

I don't get it. Is there too much desperation in the air? I'm fighting men off with a stick. OK, so it's a twig.

For example, my neighbor, who it turns out is only 82 years old, said to me today, "If only I was 10 years younger ..."

I did not point out that 10 years less would still be closer to my parents' age than mine. He meant it as a compliment, after all.

It's not easy being single. We singletonettes have no one to fix the odd mechanical/electrical failure around the house, to install and remove the air conditioner, no one to tell us why our car is making that strange noise and no one to send out to buy feminine products when we just don't feel like doing it ourselves.

Very frustrating.

No longer lingering on my blog

I've had a busy and tiring day, capped off with ice cream from Haley's. Moose tracks. With hot fudge.

Anyway ... earlier I received an interesting email from an alleged friend of Mahatma Kote, the fellow who has been commenting on my post about middle eastern men and western women.

This friend feels that we have had enough fun at Mahatma's expense and says he will make sure that Mahatma does not any longer "linger" on my blog.

He also references Mahatma's search for a "Koran-abiding mate" in Provincetown, white-knuckle furniture gripping and "FleshPots."

Ordinarily I would not repeat info sent to me in an email. But I thought everyone might want to know what happened with Mahatma.

What a shame; he seemed like such a nice guy. I was really looking forward to his reporting back following his trip to Provincetown. Or Ogunquit.

All you need is love

I woke up this morning not feeling anxious but rather, feeling a little depressed.

So it was really nice to see there was a comment waiting to be moderated that said, "We love you too! Good going!" - until I realized it was a comment to Jennifer Karin, not me.

But even with that, it made me smile - Isn't it good to know that any kind of expression of love, even that expressed to someone else, can help raise you out of a funk?

Thanks sykebluelake and thank you, Jennifer, for spreading the love around.

Attraction

I have always been fascinated by people and finding out their motivations for doing what they do. I do believe that's why I am so taken with the character of Bartleby in the movie "Dogma" - also a watcher.

I like to look at a couple and guess what the attraction is/was. Sometimes it's really obvious; most of the times it's a mystery. When I get to know the people better, I sometimes ask. The result of one of my queries is detailed below.

First there's the blonde thing. I don't know if that began with movie stars like Jean Harlow in the 1930s or if it began in the 1960s when music was enjoining everyone to be a California blond(e).

I believe the thin thing began when runway models became supermodels. Twiggy probably did more for diet products than any other marketing possible. We had a discussion on Ari Herzog's blog about young impressionable people and smoking. I think a lot of people are much more impressionable than most people imagine.

Then there's the women with wide mouths thing. Think about it for a minute. This was actually confirmed by my (now ex-)boyfriend, who was very candid about his reasons for being attracted to a woman. He, by the way, really liked Gina Davis - a thin, dark-haired woman with a wide mouth.

Men who are vertically challenged usually go for a woman who is shorter than he. The man in a couple I once knew said (when asked) that he had looked for a woman with long hair who really liked the Red Sox (the shorter than him I just inferred).

I replied that he was lucky, then, that he found (name of his wife). Everyone was shocked that I had said that; but what I meant was that he was lucky to have found a woman with long hair who liked the Red Sox who was also smart and funny, to name just two of her attributes that I felt merited more comment than the long hair and the Red Sox love.

A woman I once knew said what she loved most about the man she was about to marry was that he loved her so much. Needless to say, they are now divorced. When she finally grew up, she found someone who she loved for themself, not herself. I feel deeply for the ex-husband, although he should have seen that one coming.

A couple more women have told me that they like men who really love them, or who think they are great, etc. Conversely, my ex-boyfriend once told me early on in our relationship that he had me on a pedestal. I think the fact that I fell off the pedestal is one reason why I'm still here and he is not.

Is love really blind? Maybe.

A long time ago, when I was young and still living in Michigan, a woman I knew only slightly was telling me about the man whose proposal of marriage she had just accepted.

"He wasn't my type at all," she said about when she first met him. "But I thought 'what the heck?' I'd give him a chance anyway."

When I was young, and even now, I think of the physical "type" that attracts me as being dark haired and dark eyed. I also am attracted to high cheekbones, which makes Johnny Depp my perceived ideal. And I'm big on voices.

To the horror of my sister (the one who lives in Gloucester), I always loved the voice of Steve Perry, former lead singer of Journey.

Recently I confessed that not only did I like his voice, I also found him physically attractive. "It was bad enough you like his voice!" she exclaimed. "Now you're telling me you think he's attractive??"

Oops.

Both of my long-terms relationships, however, have been with men who had red or light brown hair and blue eyes. So there you go.