Real men don't wear spandex

Funny how the bicycle started out as a 'toy' for wealthy people, then became the ride of choice for less wealthy people, and now is again a toy for wealthy people.

The wealthy aspect of it has mostly been the special garb that is required.

Yesterday I was startled when some Lance Armstrong wannabe came out of nowhere and swooped around me and down Federal St., ignoring me and my little Jetta and nearly getting smooshed for his efforts.

He was decked out in all the regalia: the shirt, the shorts, the shoes, and the pointy helmet. You know, the one that's designed to make your head more aerodynamic.

This regalia rage is also true of riding a horse.

We had horses, when I was in high school. I rode my horse wearing my regular jeans and whatever shoes I had on my feet. So did everyone else. (Just like we did our bikes.)

A few months ago, I was equally startled when my neighbor's friend arrived at her house wearing jodhpurs and knee-high riding boots. Her small son was similarly attired.

"Oh," she breathed, pulling her hair back with both hands, "(Son's name) had his riding lesson today."

She then looked at my shoes and said, "Are those Crocs? I don't like Crocs, they're Socialist shoes."

I looked at her quizzically and asked, "Do you even know what Socialist means?"

I was kind of gazing at her own attire as I spoke (not that I believe clothing can be Socialist, but I hadn't seen anyone decked out like that since I was actually in a Socialist country - or West Newbury, now that I think about it).

Next I expect that people won't be able to swim without those spandex outfits the Olympic swimmers wear.

I'm just saying all this because, if I appeared riding my bike in spandex, we'd all be sorry. And my jodhpurs will be at the cleaners, now that I know where some are. They look kind of silly with my red cowboy boots, though ...

And by the way, bicycles are Socialist. I was going to make a quip about them being the main ride of the proletariat, when I Googled said phrase and found THIS - The Proletariat Bicycle Co.

Oh, man.