Let's get together (no, no, no)

(Some of the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)

A few weeks ago now, I met a man that prior to that day I had only known as a person on the periphery of my life.

This person (Doug) and I after that met once more, in a local bar/pub where he hangs out - let's call it the Parched Perch.

At our second meeting, Doug expressed an interest in meeting another person I know (Don) and asked me to introduce them to each other. This was reiterated later that evening, in a "conversation" on Facebook.

Sure, why not, I thought? I can drag Don over to the Parched Perch and introduce him to Doug.

So I wrote an email to Don and proposed just that scenario.

Don replied that we should "change things up" and meet for dinner at Agave instead. I replied that I had given Doug the impression that I was bringing him (Don) into the Perch.

Sure, Don said, we can meet for lunch or dinner at the Perch, if they served dinner at the Perch.

So I wrote to Doug through Facebook and told him what was up.

No reply.

Undaunted (I'm stupid that way), last week a female friend and I had lunch with Don downtown. After lunch, she had to run and Don and I wandered onto State Street. I had to drop in at the Bank of America and Don waited outside for me.

"Hey," I said when I emerged from the bank, "why don't we pop over to the Perch and I can introduce you to that Doug guy?"

Don looked at me as if I were insane and replied, "No, I already ate."

Apparently, Don thinks you can't meet someone unless food is involved. And after I thought about it, I realized that almost every time I see Don, food is involved.

And apparently, Doug thinks you can't meet someone unless alcohol is involved (although you can get both food and alcohol at Agave).

The first time I met Doug, in the Perch place, I only drank water. It was a hot day, I had consumed some fair quantity of alcohol the night before - and it was only 11:30 a.m.

I'm not a prude, but I was raised by one.

At any rate, Doug told me at our second meeting that he thought the first had been too "formal."

(I had two drinks of the alcohol-laden variety at our second meeting, which was well into the afternoon.)

Geez louise, people!

So, to recap: I was trying to introduce two men, one of which won't meet someone unless he can eat at the same time and the other who (apparently) won't meet someone outside of his usual haunt and/or unless he can drink an alcoholic beverage at the same time.

What happened to meeting someone just for the hell of meeting someone? Don wasn't interested in sitting in a bar and Doug it seems isn't interested in sitting anywhere but a bar ... just that one bar.

I figure it just was not meant to be. Let them meet and chat on Facebook - it is, after all, a social networking space.