I defy you to come up with a story more relevant than this:
Car broken into, 3 bags of chips stolen
The accompanying copy is also stirring:
FLINT, Michigan — A man reported that his 2003 blue Chevrolet Impala was broken into at about 8 p.m. Wednesday, according to police reports.
The vehicle was parked on the 4000 block of Van Slyke Road. He told police the driver's side door was dented and the handle was broken in the effort to gain entry to the car.
He told police that three bags of chips were the only items taken from the vehicle.
I bet you never would have guessed that it came from a newspaper in Flint ...
Welch poet on fire at Actors Studio.
4 days ago